American Sniper from a vet perspective.

My wife and I went to see the movie with another couple to a sold out theater. I'm not fond of going to the movies for so many reasons--shitty exits, unknown threats, rude people, but the theater in Oklahoma was at least inviting enough to stifle my anxiety.

As I watched the movie unfold it was clear to me that this was not a SEAL promotion movie or a gratuitous violence movie--it was about a man faced with difficult choices to save fellow service members and having to return home with the burden of combat. You would think that the combat was the hardest part of war, but it is not--it is having a wife who wants to love you but cannot because she does not know how to help you through the mind-blowing shit that you have experienced. Further, you cannot help her because you cannot articulate or describe the horror and helplessness felt at times during those engagements. The movie does a beautiful job portraying this exact conundrum.

As I listened to the audience reaction when he killed the boy with the grenade and eventually shot the boys mother who had attempted to finish the job--it was a heart stopping gasp. When the scene was over the audience did move on adding it to the problems he had to face. Unfortunately, most understood, but could not comprehend the spiral down feeling that Bradley Cooper portrayed. At a birthday party he quickly reacts to the dog playing with children--believing it to be an attack his honed instinct is to eliminate the dog to protect his child. As a sniper, JTAC, platoon leader, officer, ect. The overwhelming feeling is to do anything to protect those ground pounders at whatever cost to your soul. This is often dismissed as just the war or something akin to being a vet, but it goes beyond this. My own experience on my 2nd deployment the enemy was constantly hitting us with mortars and small arms. We sent out patrol after patrol but always had a hard time finding them. Sometimes we would and destroy them and it felt good--I will not lie to you. However one night we had a enemy mortar team in our sights. The A10 overhead saw the flash and so did we. I believed this to be one of the easiest controls ever. I was fortunate to have another JTAC with me so it was painfully easy. Unfortunately the Tactical ops Center did not want to strike the enemy they wanted the Quick Reaction Team to intercept and capture the bad guys. Attempting to use the A10 to relay the quickest route proved difficult and the mortars team got away. Several weeks later, that enemy mortar found it's mark. It slammed into the old canvas style tents the military used to have--killing and trapping five soldiers to be burned alive in that tent. Meanwhile one of the fuel trucks had been hit exploding and catching another on fire--with no regard for himself an 11B private jumped in got the truck started and drove it away from his fellow soldiers. Fortunately only the tires were on fire and were put out by the act of driving it away. For his heroic, selfless action he was awarded an Army Commendation while our Battalion Commander and his Sergeant Major hid in the bunker and both received a Bronze star with valor. This is the war we fought, this is the war most do not know. My point is this--whatever it takes to protect your brothers you do it without hesitation. You cannot count on the military garrison system to protect you or back you up. I often think of that night when we had that mortar team--that I should have disobeyed orders and cleared the aircraft to destroy that team. Maybe those soldiers would still be alive.

Chris Kyle was an extraordinary man, great father and loving husband. The movie is a testament to a man who was driven to help his fellow vets and get them to work out their problems and feel like a man again. His life and death are a part of us all--the SEALs lost a great operator/friend/brother--the vets still trying to work through issues lost a mentor/guide/hero. And we all know what the Kyle family lost --a wonderful Husband and Father.

He was an advocate of getting healthy and confronting your problems. He understood that no matter what service or what the conditions, we are all in the same boat as far as screwed up things in combat. My personal battle with PTSD is on-going and will never just go away--Chris Kyle is someone that I can still look towards for guidance and pathways to help others and myself--as for Chris Kyle--he is an inspiration to help our vets and to prepare our future vets. Rest in Peace Chris Kyle--Thank you Mrs. Kyle, Mr. Eastwood and Mr. Cooper for helping Chris bring his vision and story to life for all to see.

I wanted to end with something profound, but the words escape me. All I can say is the book and the movie had the same effect on me--thank God my wife was there and will always be here to pick up my broken pieces and put me back together again. Chris Kyle has shown us the path to help our Soldiers Sailors Airmen and Marines. It is up to us not let him down.

If you have problems get yourself right--get help please.

Thank you brother, to my brothers that have served and the ones we just couldn't get home alive--I miss you, I miss you so much.